
Identifying my own boundaries in the workplace to ensure I’m working in the best way for me is something that has taken quite some time for me to crack. Life changes and priorities change and with that, it will come with a change in needs and wants. When I was looking at a second career, the biggest challenge for me was finding that balance and identifying and communicating my boundaries became ever so important.
The definition of a boundary is a real, or imagined, line that outlines the edge of, or limit of, something. Others have likened it to a perimeter of a fence, or the walls of your house; something that protects the space that is within. Why would you want to protect the space within? When it comes to your garden or your house that is obvious; you don’t want anyone to just come and go, take things that aren’t theirs and have a sense of unsafety.
In the context of our own personal boundaries; without them we might be feeling overwhelmed, over-worked, stressed, burnout, resentful… the list goes on and it probably won’t be doing wonders for your career success nor your mental health.
Companies often quote the culture of bringing your authentic selves to work and whilst not all of our personality traits might not be considered ‘suitable’ for a professional environment (that’s a topic I’d love to tackle at a later date!), what we can bring is our unique needs, values and priorities into our working life.
Here are some examples of where you might want to reflect on your boundaries:
You might notice that you really enjoy the fact that colleagues trust you enough to share things they’ve heard that are going on at work but you notice that the more you participate in the gossiping, the more you feel uncomfortable and anxious around other colleagues or even start doubting what is being said about you.
You are logging off for the 3rd time this week 2 hours later than your contracted end time. You feel exhausted, missed time with your family and you are having trouble relaxing.
You have just got off the phone to that colleague who constantly is sharing their negative feelings and it’s making you feel miserable about your work environment.
Feeling exhausted from being ‘switched on’ all day and being in back-to-back meetings.
Workplaces do need to do more to support mental health in the workplace but here are some suggested tips in identifying your needs and how to implement them:
1. Reflect on how you feel: Reflect on how you’ve been feeling; have you been feeling this way for some time or recently? How is it impacting you? It could be helpful to talk to a counsellor, a friend or a colleague about it.
2. What is important to you: Defining your priorities, reflecting on your values and principles can be a helpful ‘arrow in the path’. It might be that you’ve had changes in your life that mean your priorities have changed and you need to reflect that into your working environment. i.e. New relationships, just had a baby, moved house, wanting to learn a new hobby.
3. Understand your limits: You might consider ‘hard’ or ‘soft’ boundaries. For me, a hard boundary would be, I’m no longer taking work calls or emails in the evenings and a soft boundary might be ‘I am aiming to finish work by 5pm, but will flex on occasion depending on the need’.
4. Test the theory: It might be helpful to practice your boundaries and you could approach this in anyway that feels safe for you. An example could be, ‘Today I’m not going to take calls from those negative colleagues’ or ‘I’m going to schedule an hour lunch break today’. Reflect on how you feel in doing that.
5. Communicate your needs: Communicate your needs to your boss and/or colleagues. It might be helpful to explain to them why it is important to you but also consider that ‘No’ is a full sentence; you do not need to over-explain or fight your position on something that is important to you. It might be helpful to practice what you want to say with a counsellor or someone you trust so you feel more confident in doing so.
Your personal boundaries are much like that fence perimeter around a garden. They are a bit like rules for how others learn to behave around you, what you will accept or not accept and how you want to be treated. Not only will you be protecting your own mental health and wellbeing, you will also be promoting health relationships, enhancing self-respect and esteem and enhancing your sense of autonomy by putting your needs at the forefront.
World Mental Health Day is on 10th October 2024 - It's time to prioritise workplace mental health.
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